Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
