You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
