So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
