Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
