I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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