i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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