then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
