and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
