There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
