I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
