Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
