I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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