Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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