lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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