four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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