Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
