In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He shit in the fireplace
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
