the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
