Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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