In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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