Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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