I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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