He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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