we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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