is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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