WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
