Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't turn off my feet"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
