I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
