Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
