Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
