She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
