i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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