Betty ford says i'm here all night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
