she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
