I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So squirting runs in the family.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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