apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
