just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
