yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
