i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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