Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
