how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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