Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
