so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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