This is not my ceiling
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
