I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I could fuck to npr.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
