I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
