Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
