I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
