You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
