If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i think i have herpe
just one?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
