I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
