We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
