why didn't you poke me back
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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